NIC Blog
Making it Right
Tags: Hazing, National Hazing Prevention Week, NHPW, brotherhood, fraternity hazing, fraternity brotherhood, Living the Ritual
So far this week, in our blogs about hazing in honor of National Hazing Prevention Week, NIC staff members have written about taking comfort in rituals (and Ritual), and how to order up the ideal fraternal cup o’ Joe. What happens, though, when you know exactly how you want your caffeinated cup of goodness, but what the barista hands you is not at all what you asked for?
Despite their expert training, sometimes the coffee shop’s apron-clad employees just get it wrong. From adding an extra shot of espresso to a half-caf Grande, to mistakenly putting a big dollop of whipped cream on top of a low-fat Venti, mistakes happen. In a crappy café, you might get an “I’m sorry” as the barista walks away. In the best bistro, your order will be corrected and you will leave satisfied and not too late for your next appointment.
Let’s extend the analogy to Fraternity. Picture Frank Freshman or Susie Sophomore. They know they want to join a fraternity or sorority; they might be a legacy, or have just done their homework and know the many benefits of membership. They ask all the right questions and “maximize their options.” Frank is recruited by the fraternity with the best grades and the biggest intramural trophies. Susie receives a bid from the largest sorority on campus, whose philanthropy supports her personal passion for children’s literacy. All the world is right for these two… until the scavenger hunts, history exams, My Tie pledge mixers, and 6am calisthenics begin.
How did they get here? What did they do wrong? Why are these ::air-quotes:: brothers and sisters treating them this way? This surely can’t be what fraternity and sorority is all about. Their friends at another school never told them this would happen. But, then again, they want to belong, to feel a part of something greater, so they might as well put up with it for the time being.
Where is the barista who will own the error, take back the too-strong coffee, and give these two what they asked for? Where is the brother or sister who has the courage to stand up and say “No! This is not how we build up our future leaders. We are NOT going to be a hazing chapter.” Where is the member who grabs the Ritual book and shakes it in the face of decades of brutal brotherhood?
Fraternities and sororities across this great nation need for members to put on their game faces and prepare for battle. Hazing cannot be stopped overnight, and it cannot be solved without kicking out a few members and sitting out on a few parties in order to engage in tough conversations about values and Ritual. It requires guts and perseverance and a willingness to go toe-to-toe with older members who were hazed, alumni who like to relive the glory days, and councils that don’t hold chapters accountable.
Are you one of those hazing warriors who helped your chapter kick its habit? Are you the barista who corrected the order and made Frank and Susie proud returning customers? Email Andy@nicindy.org with your story and one of you will get a $25 Starbucks giftcard for having the courage to step up.
